Life with Johnny!

So Saturday mornings are usually reserved for Johnny and I to shop the Farmers market.  Each weekend we browse through the stalls of fresh fruit and vegetables, baked goods, meat, grains and fish…it always makes our white bred wasp asses feel exotic and worldy selecting a guava or papaya amongst our apples and oranges.  So today as we passed by the old man peddling his cashews, almonds and walnuts the gentleman inquired of John…’may I help you?’ to which Johnny boldly proclaimed…”No thank you, I’m just looking at your nuts!”….what a cheeky monkey and so forward too!…but it was the look on John’s face that was priceless..it was that look of terror when you know that you’ve made a fatal miscalculation in front of the enemy….when your mouth can’t keep up with your brain…as the words ‘your nuts’ flew from his gob it was accompanied by an inaudible…nooooooo!..(cue soundtrack from Saving Private Ryan as they hit the beaches of Omaha) followed by a slow motion headturn that searched for my proximity and a hopeful self deluding thought bubble of, ‘maybe she didn’t hear me’….hehehe….I have you in my cross hairs now.