Life with Johnny!

My daughter has decided that she wants to have an all girl sleep over party with 10 of her school mates..and this last week has been an ongoing pelting of all the things she needs me to do to make this event successful so that she won’t become a social pariah, drop out of school, perform random sex acts for money, have a meaningless deadend job, a subsequent failed marriage, enter counselling and then blame me for her lousy life…so, yesterday during lunch, daughter and youngest son come home to eat…and she hits me with yet another request…’Mom, you have to go buy some more facial masks for the party so that we can all cleanse our face at the same time’….countered with a look from me that says…’ca-ching, and this will cost’….quickly followed by, ‘well maybe you could make some organic masks for the party if they’re too expensive’ and a quick departure…so 8 yr son and I are left alone in the kitchen to ponder this new request and he says…’you know mom, if you can’t find one of those mud masks..I have something else brown you could use to make one’…followed by immature giggles of ‘do you know what I mean..huh huh…do you get it?’ for the next relentless 5 minutes until I have to finally succumb and say ‘yes I get it…poo’….followed by hysterical 8 yr old boy laughter that finally peters off with him rubbing his belly and saying with satisfaction ‘oh man’……why do I insist on hot lunches…tomorrow a brown paper bag with cigarettes and a map of all the local soup kitchens!